Still a little shy


Someone has been here all its life, waiting to teach you something. When you arrive, all knowledgeable, it slithers and hides outside the frame.


You need lots of stuff


They say you should cut down the number of things you own to 51, to be happy (there are websites on how to reach that number).
That’s not true.
What you must do is you must acquire a great number of things, thousands upon thousands, and you need to arrange them all on shelves and set up proper lighting to see them and show them to others. And you should wait for 51 people to tell you: ‘Ah, your collection is wonderful. I wish I had one just like it!’, and then you should give all your stuff away, divide it equally between the 51 individuals (there are apps that’ll help), and when you’re down to zero, ask each of the 51 to give you back an object of their choosing, and then drop me a line to let me know if it worked, the happiness thing.

Mr Caveman hits plateaus


I had some distant reading in my schedule this weekend, so I sat and looked at this book.

The Fourth Within


May your plants work out as you see fit.
May you snap dragons aplenty.
May your weedsies come true like the grass of champagne.
May your sorrows begonia.

Stars and strippers


Tethering is the use of your spare bits as modems to access the outback from the city centre. Future pavement releases will come with fail-safes in case you’ve stripped down to your fluff and aren’t ready to stop.

Missed calls from astronauts


Just pick up? I pick up the exoplanet vibes from the glint in my missed calls’ number-laden bearing.

Wellness in January


A stick and a stone may seem to be keeping the well at the end of the lane from eating you up, but I think they’re in on it too.

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