ZaSnaps

I say to Maewyn the Pat, will you just look at those pretty little pebbles over there? And that pretty little succulent on top? And the pretty little sun and the stream and the fruit flies and everything just come out of nowhere? Will you just look? Just put that cleansing pad down for a minute and look, please?

He keeps on cleansing.

Toned down his linked-in profile.

Carry a dialogue with you at all times in case of people. People’ll see you carrying a dialogue like that, at all times, and they’ll think you’ve got tons of strength to be able to carry it. Strength is a bit scary, superannuated, like, so they’ll make some space for you. It’s good to have others make stuff for you that’s useful, like space.

You said I was cute and then you said I was great and then you said I was handsome and clever and fun and funny and that you could stay here forever, and then you left and it was still early, so I thought maybe you’d be back soon, so I waited, and meanwhile people passed by and more people passed by and they were all talking among themselves, not sure what about, and they didn’t like the look of me waiting like that.

I don’t go outside that much because I’m a Millenial. We like the sun, but it isn’t that healthy of late.
I read because I’m Generation Y. I read on electronic devices because I read all the time. To manage that, I also download books illegally (my generation received a very old moral compass, which broke soon after).
I take many photos because I’m a Millenial and we come with awesome cameras. I take photos of raspberries on books because I’m a hipster and we can afford that.
I have a lot of time to read, take photos and connect with strangers online because I was born unrealistic, hence unemployable.

Someone has been here all its life, waiting to teach you something. When you arrive, all knowledgeable, it slithers and hides outside the frame.

They say you should cut down the number of things you own to 51, to be happy (there are websites on how to reach that number).
That’s not true.
What you must do is you must acquire a great number of things, thousands upon thousands, and you need to arrange them all on shelves and set up proper lighting to see them and show them to others. And you should wait for 51 people to tell you: ‘Ah, your collection is wonderful. I wish I had one just like it!’, and then you should give all your stuff away, divide it equally between the 51 individuals (there are apps that’ll help), and when you’re down to zero, ask each of the 51 to give you back an object of their choosing, and then drop me a line to let me know if it worked, the happiness thing.

I had some distant reading in my schedule this weekend, so I sat and looked at this book.

May your plants work out as you see fit.
May you snap dragons aplenty.
May your weedsies come true like the grass of champagne.
May your sorrows begonia.

Just pick up? I pick up the exoplanet vibes from the glint in my missed calls’ number-laden bearing.

When you drive someone up the wall to make your escape, remember to pick a wall that’s inclined to help.